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Literature Text
Hold that drink sweetheart.
Plastered smile,
Glazed eyes.
Talk to the boy with no name,
The boy with the pretty face,
The trusting face.
Shy smile,
Shuttered eyes.
Hold his smooth, lotion slathered hand,
Kiss his soft, chapstick lips,
Smile into those bright eyes.
Silly smile,
Dotting eyes.
Walk through the door you don't even see,
Hand in hand with the man you don't even know.
Feel the cool breeze pressing against your skin,
Playing with mascara eyelashes,
Flirting with teased hair and bejeweled ears.
"Hold my hand, my love."
Trusting smile,
Kind eyes.
"Let us walk for a while.
Let us get away from here.
Let us enter a world that is all our own."
Confident smile,
Shining eyes.
"Let's get out of here.
Out of the noise and the crowd.
Out to a place for just the two of us."
Coaxing smile,
Leading eyes.
Walk down the street you don't recognize,
Hand in hand with the man you think you know.
Feel the pavement moving beneath your unsteady feet,
His anchoring hand clasping around your waist.
Isn't the moon beautiful tonight?
"Look at the moon, my love."
Gleaming smile,
Fervent eyes.
"Look at the stars.
The tiny pinpricks of light.
The destinies of those who have passed before us."
Sly smile,
Focused eyes.
"The park is beautiful at this time of night.
We should walk there for a while.
Catch some more fresh air."
Sinister smile,
Violent eyes.
Walk into the park you've never been to,
Hand in hand with the man you're about to know.
See the lamps suspended on the side of the dark path,
Like fairy lamps lighting the way to Neverland.
The moon really is beautiful tonight.
Rough pavement.
Cool breeze.
Bare skin.
Violent screams.
Torn nails.
Coarse rope.
Tough cloth.
Unyielding cloth.
Muffled screams.
Crushing weight.
Fluttering panic.
Stricken disbelief.
Pain.
Pain beyond belief.
Desperate moans.
Muffled moans.
Final struggle.
Giving up.
Losing hope.
Lost hope.
Giving in.
Tuning out.
Cool breeze.
Rough pavement.
Vision gone.
Fading fast.
Blacking out.
Last thought.
Beautiful moon.
Wake up sweetheart.
Frozen smile,
Panicked eyes.
Imagine the man with no name,
The man with the cruel face,
The violent face.
Sickened smile,
Cold eyes.
Feel his rough, groping hands,
Imagine his stubble crusted lips,
See those crazy, laughing eyes.
Panicked smile,
Dying eyes.
Do you remember?
Fading smile,
Dead eyes.
Plastered smile,
Glazed eyes.
Talk to the boy with no name,
The boy with the pretty face,
The trusting face.
Shy smile,
Shuttered eyes.
Hold his smooth, lotion slathered hand,
Kiss his soft, chapstick lips,
Smile into those bright eyes.
Silly smile,
Dotting eyes.
Walk through the door you don't even see,
Hand in hand with the man you don't even know.
Feel the cool breeze pressing against your skin,
Playing with mascara eyelashes,
Flirting with teased hair and bejeweled ears.
"Hold my hand, my love."
Trusting smile,
Kind eyes.
"Let us walk for a while.
Let us get away from here.
Let us enter a world that is all our own."
Confident smile,
Shining eyes.
"Let's get out of here.
Out of the noise and the crowd.
Out to a place for just the two of us."
Coaxing smile,
Leading eyes.
Walk down the street you don't recognize,
Hand in hand with the man you think you know.
Feel the pavement moving beneath your unsteady feet,
His anchoring hand clasping around your waist.
Isn't the moon beautiful tonight?
"Look at the moon, my love."
Gleaming smile,
Fervent eyes.
"Look at the stars.
The tiny pinpricks of light.
The destinies of those who have passed before us."
Sly smile,
Focused eyes.
"The park is beautiful at this time of night.
We should walk there for a while.
Catch some more fresh air."
Sinister smile,
Violent eyes.
Walk into the park you've never been to,
Hand in hand with the man you're about to know.
See the lamps suspended on the side of the dark path,
Like fairy lamps lighting the way to Neverland.
The moon really is beautiful tonight.
Rough pavement.
Cool breeze.
Bare skin.
Violent screams.
Torn nails.
Coarse rope.
Tough cloth.
Unyielding cloth.
Muffled screams.
Crushing weight.
Fluttering panic.
Stricken disbelief.
Pain.
Pain beyond belief.
Desperate moans.
Muffled moans.
Final struggle.
Giving up.
Losing hope.
Lost hope.
Giving in.
Tuning out.
Cool breeze.
Rough pavement.
Vision gone.
Fading fast.
Blacking out.
Last thought.
Beautiful moon.
Wake up sweetheart.
Frozen smile,
Panicked eyes.
Imagine the man with no name,
The man with the cruel face,
The violent face.
Sickened smile,
Cold eyes.
Feel his rough, groping hands,
Imagine his stubble crusted lips,
See those crazy, laughing eyes.
Panicked smile,
Dying eyes.
Do you remember?
Fading smile,
Dead eyes.
Literature
does it really matter that
my spine is naked
pages have been torn
dropped like lead to the ground
and left there.
everything i was,
and everything i could have been,
lay bruised under an oilslick sky
draping its inky curtains
i'm done.
i've run out of words
because they're sinking
sodden with sweat, nothing more
than lines in a book.
Literature
tears.
my face drowns in the flow of tears
i feel nothing but a heavy heartache
for all that i've gone through over the years
knowing that loving you was a mistake
the tears drench my cheeks as i think back
on all the memories that we shared
somehow i knew that you would lack
the ability to show you cared
these tears won't easily go away
they fall so quickly and stay so long
but i know that they will dry up someday
and i'll forget how i have been wronged
Literature
The Damager
I spit venom
Spreading lies and deceit
For the purpose of manipulating you
and filling you with hate
My methods may vary
But my intention's the same
to hollow you out
and fill you with rage
I'm not your friend
Though I may pretend to be
Just so I can betray you
and leave you empty
To cloud your mind
and destroy your faith
To disenfranchise you
and drive you insane
To fill you with anger
and tempered rage
To strengthen my cause
of inflicting more pain
So watch as I demonstrate
the chaos I bring
For I am the damager
This is my time to reign
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8-10-2010: So, I am looking for a piece to submit to an online magezine, and this piece seems the obvious choice since it has been the most well received on DA. What I would ask for anyone who reads this is, would you be willing to give a full-out critique of this piece? I would be eternally grateful if you would. If this is not your favourite piece that I have written, could you please critique the one that is your favourite and tell me why you like that one best? Anyone who responds to this is my hero
Written under Poetry Challenge Prompt #78: Drink. I actually spent a long time writing this one. I was experimenting with a different style, and I'm not all that sure whether it worked or not...I'll let ya'll be the judge of that
My main question with this piece is this: Does the style and language increase the impact of the piece as a whole? If yes, how does it do that? If no, what could be done to improve and increase the impact of the piece?
Written under Poetry Challenge Prompt #78: Drink. I actually spent a long time writing this one. I was experimenting with a different style, and I'm not all that sure whether it worked or not...I'll let ya'll be the judge of that
My main question with this piece is this: Does the style and language increase the impact of the piece as a whole? If yes, how does it do that? If no, what could be done to improve and increase the impact of the piece?
© 2010 - 2024 nngross
Comments36
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The title is engaging and appropriate. I think it's interesting that the story started off with alcohol. It seems that the smile and eyes being the most prominent thing the protagonist noticed would make sense. While first reading this poem it was difficult for me to decipher who was smiling and using their eyes. However, by the end, it became clear the antagonist (stranger) was the one manipulating the situations. This poem shows very plainly how quickly a beautiful situation can turn ugly. The progression was logical and well paced. I believe the repetitive use of the eyes and smile coupled with the distinction (italics) was key to revealing the plot as a whole and the emotions experienced throughout. The ending was emotionally gripping and had a lingering fear and despair that helps the reader empathize with the protagonist. As horrifying as the story is, the writing is excellent; and I am very impressed with this work of art.