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Submitted on
June 27, 2010
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She smiles,
A slight curve of her cruel lips,
As she walks away,
Leaving another husk of a man in her wake.
Leaving him with only thoughts and memories as useless as her goodbye kiss,
As useless as the "I'm sorry" she whispered sweetly in his ear
Before she sweetly walked out of his life.
Victim number one?
Number three?
Number five?
Number nine?
Or does it really matter?
She is a seducer.
She is a seductress.
She is a succubus.
She is a black widow,
Weaving a web of lust,
Of desire,
Of deceit,
Of lies,
And of love.
Despicable love.
I pity him, her next man,
Her next victim,
Her next prey,
Her next "love."
The next husk of a man that will be left in the wake of her cruel, curving lips.
So...I really like this one :) This was written off of poetry challenge prompt #72: Mischeif Managed. Yeah, how this poem came out of the prompt "Mischief Managed" confused me as well, but no complaints on the product itself :D
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:iconblackfire3:
blackfire3 Oct 7, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Very touching, very deep. Makes me pity the next victim as well. I like the use of unnatural language, things I wouldn't expect but are pleasant nonetheless. Reminds me of Framing Hanley's song "Killing Me." :heart:
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:iconnngross:
nngross Oct 7, 2010  Hobbyist
Thank you. This is still one of my most personal poems. What do you mean by unnatural language? I'm just curious what you mean by that :) Also, I had never heard of Framing Hanley before, so I looked them up, and I really like them. Thank you for that! :D
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:iconblackfire3:
blackfire3 Oct 8, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, no problem. The same happened with me, actually. My friend recommended them and now I'm addicted :XD: By "unnatural" I meant non-cliche. I guess the word "unnatural" wasn't the best way to say it :hmm:
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:iconnngross:
nngross Oct 8, 2010  Hobbyist
I now need to download some of their stuff and get to listening a little more :) Unnatural works just fine actually, but non-cliche makes a lot more sense to me. Would you mind letting me know places that stuck out specifically as non-cliche?
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:iconblackfire3:
blackfire3 Oct 9, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Things like "succubus" and "web of lust," even "a useless 'I'm sorry'" and "husk of a man." I like it becuase my mind would fill in the blanks as I'm reading the poem with the nearest cliche, but then I'd read it and be pleasantly surprised that the line or phrase is anything but. The poem in general is cliche-defying. Not many write about seductresses anymore, so it's an interesting and refreshing take on love. If you can even call it that. The closest I think I've come to this topic is my own "Pet Vixen," if you care to look it up :D
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:iconnngross:
nngross Oct 10, 2010  Hobbyist
Hmmm...you are correct. Very few people take a third person approach to love like that anymore. There is way too much first person angst poetry going on...although I am a culprit of that myself at times :) I'm kind of obsessed with language at times, so I'm glad it finally paid off in something :D
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:iconblackfire3:
blackfire3 Oct 11, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I think we're all guilty of it at some point :XD: but at least we recognize the lack of a third-person point of view :D
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:iconnngross:
nngross Oct 11, 2010  Hobbyist
Yes, I'm sure we all are. First person is just soooooo easy though!
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(1 Reply)
:iconkallia-goldenwings:
this is just amazing
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:iconnngross:
nngross Jul 19, 2010  Hobbyist
Thank you very much :D
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